god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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