69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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