does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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