Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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