Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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