if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
