You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
