k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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