Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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