I wannas sexs uuuuu
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
