I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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