your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
