No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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