I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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