whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
