your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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