I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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