Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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