I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
no you cant smoke seaweed
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
