Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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