Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
