i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize