Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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