spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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