just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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