It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
