There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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