I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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