If that was your dad, he is hot
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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