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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  what do i owe you?

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  $237.46 to be exact.

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?

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• (415): View more from California

  Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless

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• (347): View more from New York

  I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter

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