He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
