Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
