I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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