Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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