so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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