he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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