Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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