I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
