hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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