We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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