my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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