How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize