Where did you get a picture of my penis
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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