It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
