I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How does one acquire holy water?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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