how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
