my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
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I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
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Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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