it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
