Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
