I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
