My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
