Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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