He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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