He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
