is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
