Can i not drive my cunt home
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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