Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
