my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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