some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im holly from the hills drunk
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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